laoma|me!|laoba

"can you believe me now?"
she stare
stare hard at the screen, feel the familiar feeling
buzzbuzzbuzz
she mind is in a whirl, she totally didnt noe wad should she be thinking

foolish
foolishly foolish
now she cant decide who is sillier in this whole thing


i dunnoe wad to say le
but i think i can finally reach a conclusion
through everything i think i finally understand one thing
_______________________________________________________
it is very impt. very impt to noe this

and zj
you shouldnt be affected
"why are you so affected?"
as if you are not having enough problems alr, as if you are not having enough on your plate alr, still stick ur paws elsewhere
and i said wad i want to say, what has been there for a long time le. i proclaim it loudly to the convo window
dont keep asking me why, maybe its jus an inevitable process bahs.... that things will change as we growup
like how people changes.
evenifwethinkweneverwillchangebutwestillwillintheend. soitsallphasal.


pple seems to have the impression that zj is always stoneded and unconnected
" zj, stop being so blur! you look spaced out most of the time!"
*opens eyes very big"
ZJ
IS PERFECTLY CONNECTED
she understands perfectly what is going on, she understand perfectly what everyone around her is thinking, she understand perfectly what she is doing everyday, its jus that sometimes she is jus watches and observes and she doesnt make a sound and doesnt make a move and doesnt make an effort.
haix

在每一个没有星星的夜里

i hold the GC in one hand, hold my pen in one hand
and stare helplessly at the paper
tiannnss
i dunnoe how to do a single qns
not a single one of them

was it the medicine? was it becos i havent been eating? was it becos i havent been sleeping?
i was searching through my brain once twice thrice but nothing, nothing related to math pop up.
and i jus stare at the big clock in the audi....
one hr, can sometimes be so long....



and after it i totally used up a whole yr worth of tears
sorry yl, xc and jc
sorry that you all have to come and take care of me
sorry that i made you all worry
sorry that i cant seems to stop feeling sorry for myself
sorry that i became so unlike me
its just that too many things keep happening

but actually i have seen it coming, i noe it wouldnt be gone jus like that, there will bound to be struggle.... and yes, i have totally let it out, sat night and today.... at the expense of my math test. so after today no more..... STOP....
this time its true.

i think my class people was totally a bit stunned by me today
haix

but everything will be fine de
siting on 961 i looked out at the trees and sights and humans floating around
and then i know
it will all be fine
mei shi de
i am brave and smart and strong=)

throw everything aways
throw my stomach away



i have better things to think about



我喜欢你不是因为你是谁，而是因为我在你面前我是谁


MAYBE
jay sean

(Verse 1)Beep Beep Oh Look Now There Goes My Phone
And Once Again Im Just Hoping Its A Text From You
(Bridge)It Aint Right i read your Messages Twice thrice Four Times A Night
Its True
Everyday I Patiently Wait
Feeling Like A Fool But I Do Anyway
Nothing Can Feel As Sweet And As Real
As Knowing I Wasn't Waiting In Vain
(Chorus)And Maybe Its True (may be its true) Im caught Up On You
Maybe Theres A Chance That *you're* Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its AllIn My Head
Maybe *We're Awaiting* Words We Both Hadnt Said
(Verse 2)I'm Always Connected Online
Hooked On Facebook All The Time
Hoping You've Checked My Profile
(Verse 3)Just can't help wondering why you play it cool
but I'm hopelessly falling for you(Verse 4)

Every night Im on the phone and I loving you
and I know you that you like it girl,
now dont keep it inside what's in the night.
No come say what your trying to hide.

(Chorus)And Maybe Its True (may be its true)
Im caught Up On You
Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe Im wrong Its All,In My Head
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said
(Bridge) x2Like I really want you, I think I need you, Maybe I miss you, Im thinking of you Chorus)And Maybe Its True
Oh (may be its true)
Im caught Up On You(Maybe Yeh)
Maybe Thers A Chance That You're Stuck On Me TooS
o Maybe Im wrong (Maybe yeh)I
ts All,In My Head (oh no)
Maybe We're Awaiting Words We Both Hadnt Said

i knew i would survive through friday

and i did

i managed through without fainting or collapsing or wadnot



the ache has decided to transfer itself from my head to my stomach

it comes in spasm every 5 mins

and basically i haven been consuming anything constructive other than porridge and soup

=(=(=(=(



and the chinese medicine taste like BLEAHS!!!!>_< i already very ke lians le leh, then the dumb girl hehe still take me to tour candy empire!!!! we walk round and round and round candy empire for her to decide what she want to buy when she noe that i cannot eat anything there at present moment given my health status. AND THEN, she and yl started to act shou2 and decide that their common language is to suan me=( this is not the way to make new friends and this is not the way to treat a sick person>_<

today is a nice day=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
would be better if i dun keep feeling nausea and pain, but dont worry i will bounce back real soon

yahah!
and there is a full moon tonight

and you noe mahs
i still feel sad.... still
imagine if you were me....

everywhere
memories dotted everywhere
but yet i still dun understand, that maybe all this is inevitable

hehe arhs... i dunnoe how le
it jus wont stop, it jus keeps flowing out and images jus keep popping up,
never ending
even as my visions are starting to blur now, those events jus become clearer and clearer

38.9 degree celcius

O.0
wows
zhou jing
very good

i am going to melt and disintegrate soon

and my head feels like it is filled with lead, with millions of pins and needles poking it

lubdublubdubLUBDUBLUBDUB!!!!
and my heart is beating SUPER SUPER fast!!!!!
ok i understand enzyme are working very hard now becos i am approaching optimal temperature for enzyme activity.

its a good decision to leave after gp today
saw some of the most gore pictures of aborted babies during gp. instead of feeling nausea, i jus felt sad and indignant.some of them are already FULLY FORMED! yet they are kiaped out of the mother with a pair of forceps and slouched around in basins. tiannnsss who would want to do that!!!! its plain murder becos the baby is a life, a person
and she/he is not given a chance to see the world
and he/she is innocent! whatever shit that the parents commit the baby shouldnt bear the consequences. of course it is a different case with victims of incest and rape, but at least abort the baby before 6 wks, when it still exist as a ball of cells. haix, some men out there are just 7-letter-word beginning with B, commit horrendous crimes like rape and incest and they do not need to go through all those emotional and physical turmoil.
haix

how to go school tml?



and pls tell me i am not being thickskinned

if one day earthquake really happened in hc and unfortunately i am caught under a collapsed building/pillar.

no one is to come and save me becos
1) i shall go in dignity and grace
2) i will not have to be indebted to that person who saved me for life
3) if he/she died while saving me then i rather be the one dying

Brandon
Eve
Germaine
Mavis
Meiting
Samuel
Shaowei
Shiqi
steph=)
Tianshui
hehe=)
Wilfred
Xiao Chun
Xingyi
Yanglu
Yokie
Zhiyang

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

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